Thursday, January 27, 2005

It's the imperfections that make one perfect, right?

Everyone has their own weird behaviors that only the closet people to them know about. Lots of them are embarrassing, some of them funny, most of them things we'd prefer to keep to ourselves. Since I am on a new kick of introspection and personal growth I've decided expose five of my bizarre idiosyncratic behaviors to the public (the 5 or so people who may stumble across this blog) in the hope that with identification I can move towards recovery. Isn't the first step admitting you have a problem?

#1. I make wishes all the time, on just about everything, sometimes hundreds of times a day. I wish on the last drags of cigarettes, I wish on stars (even if I know they're planets), I make a wish when the clasp of my necklace reaches the charm, I wish on eyelashes (I think there might be a relation to this and behavior #3), and when its really something important, something that I truly want, I'll just close my eyes for a second an wish on nothing with all my might

#2. I smell everything--if I can't directly smell it I'll touch it and then smell my fingers. This is probably one of the most pronounced (and uncontrollable) habits I have--just about everyone I know has seen me with my hands by my nose--maybe they didn't realize at the time what I was doing, but spend enough time with me and you'll catch on quickly

#3. I pull out my eyelashes--I have no idea why, it just feels good, like scratching an itch. There is actually a disorder in which people pull out eyelashes and eyebrows called Trichtilomania and my mom has tried on several occasions to get me to go "get help"

#4. I have a thing about rubbing my thumb and pointer finger together. I do it all the time, especially when I'm nervous. Sometimes I combine this habit with behavior # 2

#5. I sing and talk to myself almost constantly. I'd like to think that this is common behavior; that everyone has an inner dialog and songs that they sing, but I'm told that no, the majority of people go through life in blissful silence. The songs change daily, although there are 3 that have been in constant rotation for the past year or so. One thing that I find myself saying to myself all the time that I've never actually said out loud to anyone is "buck up, kid!" I have no idea where I heard it, but I think I'm stuck with it

I feel as though I could go on--there are dozens of other things I do that I'm not sure are normal (do you count your steps when you walk?) but I think that's enough growth for one night.